Blues With Missing Sheet Music

If I see the way your looks are coming across,
I wanna give your curls a toss watch me do it.

The way you salt my salad, babe!
Ooh lord child.

The way you tenderize my onions
And degenderize my hormones.
Life is sweeeet like Vidalia
or Asgardians from Valhalla

Have mercy I get zygotic with you every time you look at me.

I feel like I’m in space with room
To climb back inside the womb

Bah da da da dum

Good gracious, sister if I can’t control me
I’ll be doing something salacious, console me

Put me in your hooooooly water right now
And fry me like salmon kung pao

Bah da da da dum

Yooooou’re the vortex
That sucked my cerebral cortex

Yooooou’re the apparition
That turned up the heat in my kitchen

Yoooooooou’re the djinn
That got me in the hooooole that I’m in!!

Bah da da da dum

Ain’t got no scansion
Just wanna stretch out in your mansion

Babe don’t evict me
It was your sooouuuullll that picked me

Bah da da da dum

Slow fade soft landing
Cushion for the pushin notwithstanding

Liquid Courage

I’ll pay you 20 clams for a dram of Glencadam.

It’s a single malt, because it’s tired of putting up with pickup lines. This is 100% bullshit- proof whiskey, folks. Well, it’s 48% Alcohol By Volume, so technically it’s 96 proof.

If I could find the liquid solitude that highland courage could provide… Sorry, start over. If I could find the highland courage that liquid solitude could provide, I would be uninvisible, no need to hide.

If Satan came up to me in denim jorts, saccharine smile and sulfur snorts
I would grab his netherworld thigh and ham and give his ass a body slam
Weave a box around him thrice and seal the deal with macrame
For shots of Scotch will save the day and help us overcome our vice