Our entire civilization huddles in the shadow of the foreskin.
Whispers from ancient pottery are a grim foreshadowing of doom stemming only from thoughtless neglect.
How can we save ourselves from the grim reaper?
He laughs at all of us as he proclaims:
Never cut off tomorrow what you can cut off today!
Abraham was circumcised at age 90. Is he a jolly good fellow? That is the question.
That must have hurt. Back in the day, they didn’t have CBD gummies. Your choices were: pray or curse.
Just cut that shit off. Nowadays, we have other types of accessories for the penis.
You’re just adding one more place to clean, or god forbid, a place for germs and you could give someone a yeast infection. Don’t be that kind of douchebag!
The field lies fallow. This year, we will harvest neither cucumbers nor zucchini. There is not an eggplant to be seen growing in the entire land. In the sky, no one knows where the drinking gourd is. The laborer is in pain, sitting in bed holding his groin. The surgeon may have cut off a little too much. Don’t disrupt the agricultural cycle. This man will have to be buried, and you will trim the grass on his grave. How much easier if you had done that trim when he was a baby!
The writing was on the wall. Men will always have fewer nerve endings down there than women. Why make it worse by keeping that flip flap thing? What are you, a bird? A naked mole rat? Can you not go buy a hoodie If you want to wear a hoodie?
Yes, you can call me a Debbie Downer. In fact, I am a professional race car driver. I do not need to have to peel something off of my stick shift every time I change gears. I hope you follow, and take the necessary steps.