I did it all by myself. I climbed up the wall. I shot the security camera and the other security camera. I set up the computer virus. I lifted myself up the wall so I could climb back out again. I am able to do this because I do Parkour on the regular. Of course, I practice in secret so no one can observe and imitate my moves. I know how to do all these things because, ever since I was a kid, I rented all the action movies from the video store. I didn’t need anyone to get me a membership. Well, what I should say is I have a very active imagination, I just watched those movies to see if anyone could explain action and destruction the way I already understood it. What did my parents say about these tendencies? I don’t have parents. Or if I did, I don’t know about them and they don’t know about me. I’m “Inconceivable”. And while we’re at it, you’re right to be confused because I’m unique AND I don’t have an opposite. How could I, when you think about it? Don’t answer. It wasn’t a question.
When I am getting ready for an adventure, I sing out loud. I sing in harmony, with myself, of course. It’s something between Gregorian chant and the classic vocal arrangements of Journey. Now, those guys will be around in 400 years because it doesn’t matter who’s in the band as long as they’re following the formula.
How do I feel? Would it kill me to smile? Who do I need to smile for, you? If I smiled, it would probably break my jaw. It’s not used to doing those things, you see.
Lastly, I can reproduce all by myself. Admittedly, if I did this it would give me someone interesting to talk to. But I know I never will. I’m way too picky of an eater, and am too smart to add that much more work to my day.