Muscle Museum

In the muscle museum, everyone makes a big issue over a little tissue.

It’s not just what you got, it’s what you do with it to get what you want from it.

Sometimes, it is said, humans have within their bodies, divine power.

Come to the second floor and see: the Deltoids of Venus

There is a weight room where you can pull Lats.  Yours or someone else’s.

You can roll your neck, probably one of the biggest muscles you have if we’re being honest.  When counting neck rolls, don’t say 1 Missississppi.  Say 1 Sternocleidomastoidius, 2 Sternocleidomastoidius, 3 Sternocleidomatodius.  It’s just longer, you see.

Go on, you’ve worked hard.  Flex your Trapezius!


Now you may ask, why come to the Muscle Museum?

Why not stay home and recite poetry, like a little wuss?

Wait, you say, it is actually possible to convince women to go to bed with you, willingly?

Like, based on poetry?  Sappho was very good at that, we hear.

Oh no, I can’t speak that nicely, you say.

Have no fear!  For you, music was invented.

You don’t need to say it sweetly.  You don’t need to say anything.  How about a waltz in 6/8 time?

Maybe you’ll get dizzy while you play it.

Imagine the happiness of having more than you know what to do with!


And, if you’re human, how do you even have the ability to know about what’s good, what’s beautiful, what’s bangin’, what’s bussin’?

There are 9 Chicks on a Yacht in the Mediterranean.  Trust me, there are, I read it somewhere.  And their names are the Muses.  They are born of Thunder and of Memory, and they know all about these things and when you know about them, you can’t forget, either.  You want to spend your whole life telling jokes, or reaching for the stars?  Tell your mom you are inspired by the Muse of Comedy, or the Muse of Astronomy.


So, why be so highly strung?  Let your soul sing, or enjoy someone else’s hamstring, today!

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